Still Struggling….

IMG_0002It’s the middle of August and I’m still panicking.  Ugh.

I wish I could tell you that I’ve conquered my fears, overcome my weakness and moved forward to a better and stronger Meg, but the truth is that many times during the day I fight HARD to keep myself from dissolving into a puddle of panic.

As I’ve told you before, I’ve dealt with panic disorder since I was in third grade. However, with counseling, medication and years of experience, my episodes have been fewer and farther between for many years.

Unfortunately for me, this year, I had a panic attack in May and I’ve continued to struggle this entire summer.

One of the reasons I keep talking about my battle is because it really helps to get the thoughts, feelings and worries out of my own head.

The second and more important reason is because I want you to know that we ALL struggle with something.  You might not think you are dying because you have heart palpitations or can’t swallow – but, I would dare say that you have SOMETHING you work diligently to control and conquer on a regular basis.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:6-8

The Bible tells us not to worry a bagillion times (it does, really), but what I love about the above verse is that it also tells us to, “with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

  1. Being thankful is a crucial addition to every one of our prayers.  We must be thankful for our lives in order to be submissive to God’s will.  (This is really hard and not always the first thing we want to do, but it imperative to have the peace that God promises.)
  2. Asking God for stuff is not only what He tells us to do, but also what we really should do without feeling guilty that we continue to ask for the same things.  (It’s all about persistence and perseverance, folks.)

Paul continues to be my perfect example for someone who dealt with an issue that he really wanted taken away, but that God never did…not very hopeful, but definitely very real and apropos in my situation.

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  2Corinthians 12:7-9

I feel Paul’s pain, but I also feel God using my weakness to keep me humble and help me help others.

I may not like my struggle, but as a child of God, I can respond to His call to USE MY STRUGGLE for His Glory and to bring others closer to Him.

Genius!!!

Don’t get me wrong.  I am still praying with thanksgiving that God will take away my panic, but in the meantime, I am trying to use it so others can see Christ’s Love through my pain.

What do you struggle with?  And most importantly, how do you use it for God’s glory?

Some Wisdom for Today:  Proverbs 8:17 – I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

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