Lately, my prayer life has stunk it up to kingdom come. For some reason, I have been going through the motions of reading scriptures and devotionals, but I’ve barely spoken a word to God in what seems like forever.
Sure, I’ve said mealtime and bedtime prayers with my boys, but my personal time with God has been severely lacking. I would like to blame this on summertime and my really hectic schedule, but that’s laughable since I am a stay-at-home mom that plays more than she works. Good try, but it’s not flying.
In fact, if I really wanted to be honest, I think I’ve rarely EVER gone to God in prayer unless I wanted something (a.k.a. healing, protection, comfort, help, etc.). You get the idea. Sigh.
Clearly, I’ve allowed my unruly stubborn qualities wreak havoc in my prayer life and I know from experience if I keep this up, the outcome will be disastrous.
My ego screams loudly to do things my way and ignore God, where my heart and soul begs me to change and change quickly.
It’s not that I don’t want to live God’s Will, but I am simply being my normal, rebellious Meg.
For evils have encompassed me beyond number; my iniquities have overtaken me, and I cannot see; they are more than the hairs of my head; my heart fails me. Psalms 40:12
The truly sad part is that when I look at my past prayers, I am ashamed at what I see.
My requests are rarely pure and selfless, but often a demanding wish list to accommodate my wants and to my predilection. Sometimes I wonder if I’m really aspiring to live a God-pleasing life or am I just trying to stay out of hell?
Wow. Talk about confession time! Where’s a priest?
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16
I should feel humiliated and embarrassed (and I do), yet I find it hard to believe that I’m alone in this dilemma. This might just be my way of feeling better and making excuses for being a sinful wreck. And if it is…I’ll take it 😮
On top of the ‘prayer problem’, I would be lying to say that it isn’t a constant struggle to desire God’s Will in my life. My soul yearns to be in His light; nonetheless, my flesh craves human pleasure. The battle is fierce and it is still to be seen which will win the war.
I realize Jesus has already conquered death and sin, but my heart continues to resist occasionally.
Putting prayer at the top of my priority list would solve this problem. But, between laziness and selfishness, I taper off the daily contact with God and end up with a life full of disobedience, disappointment and derailment. ARGH!!!!
The simple answer would be to drop to my knees and simply ask for help. In order for changes to occur, I have to be prepared to be uncomfortable and willing to obey.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26
A recent devotional said, “the secret to powerful praying is to take God the need, not the answer.’
However, the reality is exactly what a dear friend of mine said, “But let me be honest, I don’t always like His answer! That is why I don’t pray for the patience I need each day…He puts me in situations in which I have to practice patience!”
In an attempt to change my heart, change my desires and change my life, I am confessing my sin and asking for God’s forgiveness so that I may be set free from the chains that bind me.
He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5
SO, in conclusion, I hope that confessing my ‘prayer problem’ will help you steer clear of making the same mistake.
And remember this one simple truth….all it takes to transform is a genuine request to change.
Some Wisdom for Today: Proverbs 15:9 – The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.