A Struggle To Be Me…

IMG_0001 I’ve been thinking a lot lately about whom I am, what I do and what I show to the outside world.  These thoughts stem from a worry of not being genuine at all times no matter what or whom I’m with.

Somedays are easier than others, but the point is to be the ‘authentic me’ regardless of my circumstances.

It definitely doesn’t help that I write a Christian blog and then sometimes don’t act very Christian-like.

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1John 1:8

Along these line…I’m much more concerned with living the way I should and becoming the person I am meant to be than what the outside world sees or thinks of me.

It sounds a ton simpler than it is because life tends to get in the way.

For example, have you ever started the day with grandiose ideas of being kind, forgiving and loving to everyone you meet; only to be derailed by some psychotic driver who cuts you off before you leave your driveway?

It’s kind of like planning to start your diet on Monday, but then finding a box of donuts on your desk from a client who wanted to say ‘Thank You.’  Grrr…that’s some bum luck!

The dilemma I run into is that I don’t want to be a fraud, but I know I should act better than I do on a regular basis.  Therefore, I become confused of whether or not my actions, words or thoughts are the true me.

Sigh.

All of these ponderings just remind me how much I need the gift of Jesus Christ because I am a big pile of sin and I will never be good enough to save myself.

It’s helpful to realize that even Jesus’s closest friends and believers struggled with doing and saying the right thing…and they were WITH HIM.

Peter’s denial three times after Jesus was arrested comes to mind because he was SO SURE he would stick to Jesus’ side no matter what and he didn’t.

Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times.” John 13:38

This example doesn’t excuse our behavior, but it does shed light on the fact that we are not the only Jesus followers who have struggled with sin or desired to truly follow Him because we loved Him.

The truth is that we all could be kinder, nicer, more gracious, more merciful, less judgmental and more giving.  We could stand to offload the big ego and get out of God’s way so that He can work on us a little more today.

Most of us won’t change overnight, but if we will at least acknowledge that we should change for the better…we are already half way there!!

What bad habit or bad behavior should you get rid of today?

Some Wisdom for Today:  Proverbs 19:2 – Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.

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