Vulnerability

Love this picture of my Chaser!!!

Love this picture of my Chaser!!!

This morning my sweet baby Chase is having surgery on his heart.  Ugh.

Today is not going to be the easiest of days for this mama, as you can imagine!  Needless to say, I’m praying (and am asking you to pray, too) for a successful surgery and complete recovery!!! Thanks!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

The surgery is to repair the extra signal Chase was born with that tells his heart to beat faster than normal when he jumps too hard, runs too fast or for no apparent reason at all.  It’s a condition called SVT (don’t ask me what that stands for because the words mean nothing to a layperson as myself).

Chase has dealt with SVT over the past five years.  It’s never going to go away and if he ever wants to play sports in high school, he needs to get it fixed to pass the physical that allows him to play.

Moreover, SVT causes Chase discomfort when it occurs and mandates that he be on medication to cut down on the number of episodes he has.

Overall, we felt this three-hour heart surgery was worth doing since the condition affects his daily life.  Plus, we’ve been told it is very safe, unintrusive and complications are rare.

Okay.  Having said all that…I’m a wreck because my sweet boy is having surgery!!!  GAH!!!!

Yes, I know that I can trust the Lord to take care of Chase no matter what and I also realize that he is a gift from above that is not promised to me forever – even though I pray to God it is forever.

The truth is that this surgery is a real life example of how out of control I really am and that scares me, worries me and makes me feel very vulnerable.

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” Matthew 26:39-42

Clearly, Jesus faced a much worse fate than I am dealing with, but it helps me to realize that begging for God’s help is absolutely OK!  It’s actually encouraged!

This circumstance is also a fantastic opportunity for me to realize that we are not invincible and that placing my trust in God’s hands is the only way I will ever find peace in this world.

Honestly, I hate that Chase has to have this surgery, but I know that God will take care of him and me regardless of what happens.

I don’t know if I could have said that five years ago when we found out about it.  At that time, I didn’t have the relationship that I now have with God, where I understand that He LOVES ME FOREVER and even when bad things happen, HE IS ON MY SIDE.

These are two aha’s that give me peace that truly does surpass human understanding.  I have come to realize that God’s Will may not look like mine, but it is ALWAYS better than my plan.

So, today, as I allow a pediatric cardiologist work on my baby, I will be praying for God’s Will to be done and for me to have the strength to follow Him wherever He leads me.

Please pray for Chase!

Some Wisdom for Today:  Proverbs 14:27 – The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.

One Response

  1. Praying!

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