If you think you can’t…you are right.
I’ve been thinking on this phrase a lot lately. I have no idea who said it or where I saw it, but if you happen to be my Facebook friend, you might have seen it on a status I posted just this past Tuesday. Plus, I used it in a conversation on Monday with a dear friend of mine. (She’s an awesome go-getter and adored the expression.)
Personally, I love it because it says so much with very few words.
The essential element is that it takes the blame off of the challenges we face and places the onus on us. Hmm….yikes!
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5
No one wants to admit their faults and we sure don’t want to acknowledge that we are the cause of our very own failures.
Aren’t we, though?
Playing the victim seems to come much easier and it lends itself to pity from others, and a ton of “oh’s” and “boohoo’s” from our friends. Ahhh, friends can be so awesome!
But when will we learn that being a victim keeps us from actually changing our habits, ways and circumstances?
Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. James 3:13-17
Of course it’s MUCH easier to see the victim-playing in others rather than in ourselves. However, I would say that WE are the worst culprits. Okay, well, at least I am.
Victimizing ourselves in any situation says that we had choices taken away and that we were plopped into the circumstance and in most cases, this is simply not true. We would like to think it is true because then we don’t have to take responsibility.
Obviously, if we are abused by murderers, kidnappers, rapists or a thief – that is wrong in every sense of the word…SOOOO not what I’m talking about here.
The victimization I’m referring to is blaming others, things or the universe for our bad relationships, terrible jobs, and all-together current state of affairs.
God is who we should be going to with all of our faults, failures and defeats. He WANTS us to lean on Him. He wants us to repent of our misdeeds. And He wants to give us wisdom, strength, and courage to live our lives in this world as His children through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Psalm 32:1-6
In fact, letting ourselves play the victim says that we are paying way too much attention on this world when we should be looking towards the next!
Some Wisdom for Today: Proverbs 28:13 – Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.