The Pains of Change

Last week I had a meltdown.   I mean a complete break from reality where I fell to my knees and bawled my eyes out for an hour.  Doesn’t happen often, but when it does…you’d better watch out!

Strangely, I woke up that particular morning feeling a heaviness and gloominess I just couldn’t shake.  It wasn’t until my husband made the unfortunate mistake of asking what was wrong that I finally let go and unleashed the tears.  (Of course, this crying jag wasn’t until after a series of me saying nothing was wrong.)  I’m such a girl.  Sigh.

Anyway…as a result of my emotional outburst, I was left weak and spent by the release of pent up emotions.  Unbeknownst to me, I had been harboring feelings of worry for the future and sadness for the loss of the past.

It wasn’t until I was faced with a situation of change that I was forced to acknowledge that the future is ever changing and I’m not in control of it.  This concession was difficult, but needed.

I was reminded that the pains of change I am currently experiencing are like what happens when the butterflies come out of their chrysalis – they struggle to be released from the comfy home they’ve enjoyed and turn into a creature more beautiful than most.

Thinking of this metamorphosis helped me to shift my focus from the pain of the transforming present to the prize of a hopeful future.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. Jeremiah 17:7

We can only be certain of a few things in life.  One being that life will change along our journey.  The good news is that life may change for the better or worse, but we can be comforted to know that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (see Hebrews 13:8).

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.  Deuteronomy 31:6

What I failed to recognized last week was that the changes I am going through today are preparing me for the future.  Every adjustment I am compelled to make will only make me stronger, wiser and more capable of handling what’s yet to come.  The changes may be painful, but they are necessary for growth.

Sure, it stinks when things aren’t going our way or everything seems to be against us, but we are not alone in this world.  We have a Father who loves us and wants us to rely on Him through every dip and curve in the road.

I felt infinitely better when I considered that I am being qualified to be used for God’s purpose.  I was able to take the spotlight off of myself and place it on the One who creates life.  I grasped (for a brief moment) the ever-fleeting knowledge that God’s plans are better than mine and He knows what He’s doing.  I don’t.

In addition, the release of fear and worry through my tears shed the monkey off of my back and was replaced with an optimistic outcome AFTER I submitted myself and my plans to God through prayer.  Always shocks me how that works!!!

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

I’m certain I will have another meltdown, but for the time being I’m convinced that God is transforming me to become His butterfly and will pull me through the hard shell of my chrysalis.

Some Wisdom for Today:  Proverbs 19:2 – Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.

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