Resolving Character Conflict

by | Dec 1, 2011 | Uncategorized | 32 comments

Hello, my name is Meg and I’m a complete freak.  Yep, I’m crazy and the worst part is that I’m conflicted!!!!

All kidding aside, I do find myself wondering who the real me is.  There are times when I am sweet, kind, loving and have a strong desire to do the right thing.  At other times, I am hateful, cruel, wicked and mean.  So which is it?

Recently, I read a devotional from Joe Gibbs where he said that as humans we are “inconsistent at best, self-destructive at worst.”  I don’t know about you, but I found huge relief in this statement because it said that I was NOT ALONE in this struggle as person who claims Jesus Christ as her savior.

Since I care what God thinks about my heart, it saddens me that on some days I feel like a lover of the Lord and other days I slam the door in His face.  Why? Why? Why?  Where is the consistency?  And why can’t I stick to the good side of the spectrum?

The beautiful part of this problem is that God knows ALL this and still loves me.  In fact, He sent His son to earth because He knew I (and many others) would never measure up to perfection.  Now that is a complete RELIEF!!!

Okay, since I am aware of God’s love and the sacrifice that was made on the cross I am not off the hook.  It is my responsibility to make a conscious effort to change my behavior and live as God intended.

Like any parent, He knows what is best for me and how life would be in the palm of my hand if only I would allow Him to be my guide.  It is by His grace that he allows me to choose my path, but forgives me when I realize I’m going down the wrong one.

Below are my top three practices that help enormously in resolving my inner turmoil. Beware…I have to do them daily and sometimes hourly for them to work!

THREE WAYS TO RESOLVE CHARACTER CONFLICT

  1. Pray – Sounds simple.  It is.  My worst days are when I don’t wake up and start the day with God.  I have also found that asking for His desires and will for the day really helps me stay on track and keep the ‘bad’ thoughts and behaviors at bay.
  2. Read the Bible – Ok.  This is not so simple.  It takes discipline and courage to open the Bible every day.  I encourage you to sign up for a daily devotional or a “read the bible in a year” email in order to make this happen.  Just opening up the book is scary and very overwhelming.  Also, making sure that you regard it as God’s love letter to YOU, instead of a book of rules because that kind of thinking keeps negativity or past perceptions from getting in the way.
  3. Forgive – A HUGE step!  And oh, so NOT simple!  I was in shock when I read the Lord’s Prayer and understood that it said “forgive MY trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against ME.”  Uh oh.  It is no secret that I keep a list of my husband’s comments and actions tucked in my back pocket ready to be used in any scenario that doesn’t fit my needs.  I still struggle with this one.  The world is full of mean people, hateful comments and down-right nasty stuff, but it is my job to forgive and move on.  (To make this happen refer to No.1)

Do you struggle with wishy washy behavior, feelings or thoughts?  I would love to hear what works for you!

Some Wisdom for Today:  Proverbs 23:12 – Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.

32 Comments

  1. Will Quinn

    Meg, thanks for adding me to your list. I look forward to getting further posts and will keep your ministry in my prayers!

    Reply
    • meghays

      I plan to post every Tuesday and Thursday!!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!!! Thanks for the prayers!!! I can certainly use them!!!

      Reply
  2. kelly

    I think I struggle with forgiveness quite a bit, but it is defiantly something I am working on.
    thanks for the post!

    Reply
  3. Dale Martin

    What a great post. It made me think of the conflicts in my own life. We are all broken and struggle with the same conflicts you described in your post. One of the hardest things to do is to forgive others and to forgive our self for our short comings. We have to trust God and continue to grow in his spirit.

    Reply
    • meghays

      You are absolutely right, Dale!!! I’m glad you are enjoying this!!!! I LOVE all of your comments and encouragement!!

      Reply
  4. Kelly

    I also have found that Prayer, Staying in the Word, and forgiveness have released me from some serious conflicts. The more I am in God’s Word, the more opportunities I have to recognize HIS voice. Think about it. God’s word is his love letter to us. So, if we are reading his love letter over and over, when He wants to speak to us, doesn’t it make sense that He would use the scriptures to tell us what to do? More times than not, when I read a new passage, at some time in the near future, God uses that passage to direct me in the way I should go. Then a new conflict arises…I have a choice to obey or not! Hmmm…seems that this journey we are on will be riddled with conflicts and choices!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts Meg!

    Reply
    • meghays

      Hahaha!!! Yes…the journey is a bumpy road and definitely NOT smooth sailing :o) Love ya!

      Reply
  5. Michelle

    Cruel, hateful and mean? I don’t think so! Loved reading this Meg!!! xoxoxoxo

    Reply
    • meghays

      You are too nice, Michelle 🙂 I have an inner witch that sometimes shows herself!!!! Just ask Lee! Hee, hee!!! Glad you enjoyed reading it!

      Reply
  6. Angie

    Hey there, I am so touched and encouraged by you website. I had no idea how God fearing you are. Not to sound shocked, but so happy to know. I really like the “Thankful” blog, and this morning I did start the day with a prayer, but not a devotional reading. I short changed myself. Praise God you were inspired to set-up this website.

    Ashley’s friend..just in case. 🙂

    Reply
    • meghays

      Hey Angie!!! I am so glad God is touching you through the talents He has provided me! I know it’s all Him because words come to me and I cannot get them out fast enough! Definitely start reading some of God’s word because it has CHANGED my life. No joke. I am a different person than I was two years ago when I started reading the Bible on a daily basis. Thanks for your words of encouragement!!!

      Reply
  7. Jenni

    I feel the inner conflict too, Meg. My kids get to see the uglies in me! 🙁 Totally agree about prayer, Bible reading, and forgiveness…including forgiving self. Thanks for writing!!!! Fresh, honest, relevant to our lives, thanks <3

    Reply
    • meghays

      Self forgiveness is a HUGE one!!! That is a post all by itself! Thanks for the idea 🙂 Love ya!

      Reply
  8. Christine

    I love how you start this off with “Hello my name is Meg and I am…” The first step in anything is just claiming it and then finding AND APPLYING the steps to improve and move forward. We ALL struggle with forgiveness (especially with our beloved husbands whom we could never imagine life without) but like you said, God knows it because that’s what makes us need HIM!
    I’m loving this babe! Thank you for giving a time of reflection and a feeling of not being alone. Love you!

    Reply
    • meghays

      Love you!!! Thanks for reading and responding!!!

      Reply
      • Sharon Parker

        I’m loving your “gems” Meg! I didn’t do something right the first day and missed getting you a response. I am very proud of you!
        Jeremiah 17:9 is a clear picture of our hearts. When we understand our very nature which is the nature of mankind we can only wonder why God loves any of us enough to take us to Heaven. Forgiveness is for us that we might move ahead. Unforgiveness keeps us from growing and receiving His blessings. I am learning this.

        Reply
        • meghays

          Hey! We are a work in progress! We will always have room to grow and we will continue to make mistakes doing it!!! Thanks for the verse!!! Love you, Ma Parker!!!!

          Reply
  9. Jenny Warner

    Hi Meg
    I love the website. You are a great writer. I have enjoyed reading what you have written so far and can’t wait for your next entry. I agree with you on the three ways to resolve character conflict. Especially prayer. Thank you for adding me to the list. I love you!

    Reply
    • meghays

      You are sweets! Thank you!

      Reply
    • meghays

      I hope you were encouraged!!!! Have a great day! I post every Tuesday and Thursday, in case you are interested!

      Reply
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      I’m using dreamhost.com, which is where I got the theme I’m using. It is called Bueno by Woothemes. The photo I’m using in the banner is an image I purchased elsewhere. Thanks for your interest in my blog. I hope you were encouraged!!!

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      So glad you like it!!!

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    • meghays

      I post every Tuesday and Thursday!

      Reply

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